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JL421 Badonkadonk

(see also JL421.com for the Donk site.)
Feeling like your SUV blends into the crowd? In need of something to transport your groceries by day and serve as a mobile party or arsenal by night? Meet the Badonkadonk, a one-of-a-kind "armored land cruiser/recreational tank". To look at it, one might think it to be a hovercraft, but in fact it runs on four off-road wheels, concealed by a unique industrial-strength rubberized flexible skirt that shields and protects the wheels to within an inch of the ground, while still allowing for enough flex to give clearance over bumpy and uneven terrain. The roof of the Donk features a guard rail and durable rubber matting, making it the ideal place to carry up to 3 friends or several hundred pounds of cargo. Slide open the roof hatch and you'll find the interior fully carped and cozy, with accent lighting, glove box, controls and room to seat up to 4 people, or 2 comfortably.
Donk Driving
The Donk was designed to be as versatile as possible, and that includes the ability of the craft to be piloted from either a seated position within the armored shell, or from an exposed, standing position out the hatch, thanks to a pivoting control stick and special one-way armored windows. The control stick is topped by the throttle handle, and steers the Donk left to right. But it also pivots up and down- up for when the driver is standing, down for when he's seated inside. The armored windows consist of stainless steel with a fine mesh of holes that allows occupants to see out without outsiders seeing in, and still protects the occupants from flying debris without risk of shattering. The exterior of the vehicle is light-armor steel with a rust patina- providing plenty of protection against paintballs, pneumatic cannons, and flamethrowers.
Drive power comes from an air-cooled, 6hp Tecumseh gasoline engine, with centrifugal clutch, giving the Donk a top speed of 40 mph unladen. Total weight is 900 pounds. Wheelbase is 72", total length is 108", height 54", and width 53". This width is slightly narrower than a standard golf cart, which allows the Donk to fit through many narrow spaces and pylons that would restrict a full size vehicle.
The sound system consists of a 1000 watt amplifier and 4 channels, each with a speaker mounted behind a window to project sound primarily outward from the Donk, but of course into the cabin as well. Exterior lighting consists of rope lighting, underbody lighting, custom sequenced 12-channel window strobes, head and tail lights, turn signals, and brake lights. Power for all these electronics comes from a high-capacity 12V deep-cycle battery array that is charged either from a wall outlet or by the engine and alternator, and has the capacity to supply power for a full day's worth of driving, music, and lights. Lights, power, stereo, battery monitoring/charging, and ignition are all controlled from a single switchboard to the left of the driver, accessible from both the seated and standing positions.
In 2005, the Donk received it's first major overhaul, including new interior, reinforced axels, additional lighting, new control stick, all new electrical system, new stereo, and most importantly a new pyrotechnic effects system with rocket pods. Part of the system is comprised of a "ring of fire", 6 individual nozzles around the rim of the Donk that can be turned on to run at a pleasant low flame, or triggered to release a large fireball or plume. Each of the 6 valves can be triggered independently, or all together with a single button. The rocket pods consist of a tank and nozzle on each side of the Donk, which use a high-powered electrical arc to instantly ignite a loud, hot blue jet out the back. The big secret is that effects like this are mostly aesthetic and don't provide much additional thrust, but to everyone you blow by with them on, it sure looks and sounds like they're boosting you to high speed. The pyro system is powered by propane and all functions, including ignitors, flames, bursts, and rockets, are controlled from a corded remote. There's even an auxiliary trigger jack that allows compatible devices, like NAO's Synchronox drum trigger system, to plug in and be used to trigger a large burst from the ring of fire.